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shutdown, abuse, etc.

Oct. 7th, 2013 | 06:10 pm

You know, I was once with a violent, abusive person (for y'all who are still in Kitchener, it was G, and he's why I have not set foot back in that city since my parents left, and never will). He had me pretty terrified at times; I cheated on him a lot, little escapes that screwed me and others over, but he had me pretty terrified. I was a teenager, I didn't think I could go home because things with my mother were really bad (details irrelevant), and I had no ability to support myself (I attempted to go to college three times and each time finances made me drop out after a couple terms).

I was scared to be on my own. I was scared to leave him; he had told me he would kill me, and Kitchener was not exactly a place you could hide in.

One day, he was threatening me. I know what caused the fight (I was a teenager. I got involved with another teenager behind his back, and it went badly and I was heartbroken and very depressed - G was, mind, 27 at the time). I don't remember how he came to have a decorative trivet that I loved in my hand, but he did, but he was threatening to hit me with it, then caught himself, and looked at it. And I could see what was in his eyes. I said the wrong thing..."You wouldn't dare." He claimed afterwards that he reacted inside as if it was a challenge. I had just meant...we were so poor, I had so few really nice things that I treasured, it was one of them...and I saw that he was going to destroy it, in anger, to hurt *me*.

As soon as his hand smashed down, I saw a panicked look that I've seen in the eyes of young children, when they realize their tantrum has gone *too far*. I was out the door. He broke the thing that destroyed his grasp on me. It wasn't the complete end, but it neared it - I applied, secretly, to Ryerson, and was accepted - it took about a year for me to break (and part of how I did that was foisting him off onto the woman he married intentionally, though I don't think they realized it was very deliberate).

I've been thinking of that a lot the last week. It was in Canada, between 1988 and 1992, and it's obviously a very personal story, but the federal shutdown feels so weirdly the same. The Tea Party people are doing so many of the same things; destroying things not because they care about the things, but to hurt the other side. I've been seeing that panicked look in the eyes of Tea Partiers as they realize what they've done, especially when they get confronted with their own statements in the past that make it obvious they've been throwing a tantrum and it's gone too far. They broke the thing that destroyed their grasp on a lot of people. They're often using phrases that, allowing for some pronouns, are identical to what G used when he needed to explain his abuse to me, and explain how it hadn't happened because of his own psychotic behaviour, but because of the combination of events that brought us to where we were.

I've just been thinking about that a lot this week.

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poetry. that'll work.

Aug. 9th, 2013 | 01:43 am

1. I am not a fanfic person.

2. I have not read a superhero comic in about 4 years.

3. I have written one piece of poetry in my life, about 24 years ago. It was about a cat and contained the line, "the kitten was planning on feeding//on those wriggling, remote, pedal digits."

4. So it makes PERFECT SENSE that my second thing published this month would be a fanfic poem about Heather Hudson taking over the role of team leader of Alpha Flight in the wake of her husband's death.

5. Because.

Download your copy of Flying Higher: An Anthology of Superhero Poetry, edited by shadesong and michaeldthomas now.

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My article at XO Jane

Jul. 22nd, 2013 | 10:15 pm

for those of you who isn't on the facebooks.


So there you have it. My first piece of paid writing.

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chill july 4th thing

Jul. 2nd, 2013 | 11:18 am

A few years ago I totally forgot about July 4th because you know, I'm Canadian. It was just suddenly noon on July 4th, and I had nothing to do. Then Lori Campbell asked everybody to come over to her place, so you know, I did. By walking 3 of the 4.5 miles to it, because the T kinda sucks on the Fourth.

Anyway, we find that Lori is here, and it's July 4th, and we thought we'd just ask people to come by because that was fun. This is a drop-in event; come when you have some time, stay until you don't. It'll go at least until the Boston Pops and fireworks are over (which we may watch if we can find it streaming somewhere).

There are two cats here; there is also a cat-free back porch that is lovely for hanging out. I have an inherited charcoal grill that I have never used that we can warily fire up. Children are welcome, but the house is not at all childproof. There is a park about 60 seconds walk away if they get restless.

There is a facebook event page for this, if you'd like to RSVP there. Drop ins are welcome; email me for the address.


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i am going to be hosting theloriest for a couple weeks

Apr. 21st, 2013 | 04:02 am

starting tomorrow. would people like to come over for a casual potluck on Friday to keep her properly socialized?

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Dec. 23rd, 2012 | 01:16 am

I am a member of Mike the Gardener's seed club (https://averagepersongardening.com/), and I get a little packet of 4 seeds every month. And 8 the first month, and some on my birthday, and some from his overflow program, etc). I have a LOT of seeds. and many of them I will use. But some in an apartment, I just do not have space for, or they want more sun than I can give them, and a couple, like the onions/carrots, are doubles. I have the following to trade/offer: Rutabaga (American Purple Top), Parsnip (Hollow Crown), Carrot (Chantenay Red Core), Cauliflower (Snowball), Spaghetti Squash, Onion (Evergreen Bunching), Celery (Utah, GMO-free), Okra (Burgundy).

They are all organic seeds, they all have a price on them of 89 cents or $1.29. I'll trade them for seeds of any herb but dill (I have 3 types), grape tomatoes, and especially mint. I'm willing to give them away, especially if you want to give me some of the produce after (except the cauliflower. you can keep that). Will also be happy to take various growing things (pots, potting soil, starters, etc). Message me.

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Dec. 17th, 2012 | 04:31 am

(I am going to make more of an effort to take my...less one line things from facebook and post them here, compiled (the below is actually 3 entries), for the sakes of those of you who do not read FB. Those of you who do read FB will get more of the sort of thing I am really good at - snarky one and two line comments, which FB is much better for, and you'll get it faster.)

I had a migraine yesterday; I went to bed at 5pmish and woke up at 2am. which is why I am cleaning house at 4:00am. If I could start a business cleaning houses at 4am, I'd be set...I've done Laurie's kitchen at this hour twice now. I just never want to clean during daylight. Tyler once said it was living with a really unpredictable house elf (I don't clean every night, or even really consistently, but I get in these moods).

I was just out in the front room, doing a little of the fussier post-party stuff (putting new candles in the tea holders so they are ready for next time, things like that) when I noticed that the Ducky Virgin Mary has been returned to the nativity (she took a runner last night and was missing). I suspect that TJ (my roommate) found her, but I'd really rather believe it was a Christmas Miracle.

I have been reading a book on speed cleaning recently. One good suggestion it had was to put the things you use most often in a small bucket, so if you find you are needing something often, it's the bucket you grab. I extended this a little; my bucket has Pledge, Windex, a hammer and nails, a small screw collection, my powered screwdriver, some sponges, and a microfiber cloth.

I cannot currently find my bucket.

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Arisia Schedule

Dec. 10th, 2012 | 03:07 am

which basically adds up to "I am handicapped and I cook."

Disability and Fandom
Griffin, Sat 10:00 AM
Many fen have disabilities, and they aren't always obvious to the outside world. Are these disabilities barriers to full participation in the fannish community? What can conventions do to make sure every fan gets the full convention experience? What can all fans do to help their fellow fen who need it?

Crafting Spirits: Home Brewing and Distilling
Independence, Sat 7:00 PM
Home brewing and distilling have exploded in popularity in recent years. Come learn the difference between an ale and a lager, or a vodka and a gin. Discuss brewing techniques, trade recipes, and share stories. Sampling must be saved for your hotel room!

Foodcraft: How Science Can Reinvent Your Kitchen
Independence, Sun 1:00 PM
Foodies are always inventing new scientific techniques to prepare their favorite ingredients in exciting new ways, but are these modern miracles available to someone on a budget? Or is the Modern Kitchen only a pipe dream? Learn the wonders of sous vide, sonic cavitation, and food grade centrifuges.

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Who wants grenadine?

Dec. 3rd, 2012 | 03:54 pm

I was thinking of doing a batch of it. 12 ounces of fresh grenadine, proper pomegranate base, in a squeeze bottle, $10 each. Any interest? I need 10 bottles pre-ordered ($5 deposit) to make it possible (part of that is finances to buy the supplies; part of that is the supplies make enough for 18 bottles, and I really don't want a gallon of grenadine for myself ;-) )

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things that I need that people often throw out.

Nov. 21st, 2012 | 01:25 am

I would be happy to get old ones that I could play with; I have not refinished any furniture in ages, and I am sort of itching to.
- 2 tall bookcases
- short bookcases
- a coat tree
- little wall shelves
- a swiffer wet jet
- a mop
- a wine rack
- a television so we can play Rock Band
- end tables

I am also keeping an eye out for really good prices on poster frames that will fit a one-sheet (27"x40"). I need 3 of them.

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